not the real bill kaulitz (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bill_kaulitz) wrote2019-02-14 12:08 pm
bill_kaulitz) wrote2019-02-14 12:08 pm
Entry tags:
I should stop giving my posts titles
I have a hard time typing on this keyboard at work, so this post won't be long, I'm just feeling some super writing frustration and I'm struggling hard with it.
I feel a bit lost with the second book. I keep see-sawing between this being normal or giving into the ALL IS LOSSSTTTTTTTTT feeling I tend to wallow in when things don't come easily. This final rewrite of Book One came about very rapidly. Now that it's done and I'm on to the second book, there is no rewrite. Fixing and revamping Book One ultimately negated EVERY subsequent book I'd written in the series. I'm not crushed. They weren't very good (and I mean that truthfully, full of teenage logic and drama that would've had to be removed and fixed in addition to the poor/shaky plots they had.) But it makes Book Two that much more of a challenge.
I'm struggling with details. I should've thought out publishing the first one a little more. Any plots for the next two books have to coincide with book one, and it's starting to become a struggle. I'm worried it's becoming too complicated in comparison to the first and I can't decide if that's okay or not. I can't say much without spoiling it and I don't want to do that.
What's worse is my struggle with Lani. Her identity is so important, and every decision I make seems to affect it in a negative way.
And yeah, I know I'll probably work these problems out, I'm just so worried about it all. Regardless of how the book does, I want it to be my best. I don't want to half-ass it and I want things to make sense, and I want the characters to work and be...relatable.
ARgh..
I feel a bit lost with the second book. I keep see-sawing between this being normal or giving into the ALL IS LOSSSTTTTTTTTT feeling I tend to wallow in when things don't come easily. This final rewrite of Book One came about very rapidly. Now that it's done and I'm on to the second book, there is no rewrite. Fixing and revamping Book One ultimately negated EVERY subsequent book I'd written in the series. I'm not crushed. They weren't very good (and I mean that truthfully, full of teenage logic and drama that would've had to be removed and fixed in addition to the poor/shaky plots they had.) But it makes Book Two that much more of a challenge.
I'm struggling with details. I should've thought out publishing the first one a little more. Any plots for the next two books have to coincide with book one, and it's starting to become a struggle. I'm worried it's becoming too complicated in comparison to the first and I can't decide if that's okay or not. I can't say much without spoiling it and I don't want to do that.
What's worse is my struggle with Lani. Her identity is so important, and every decision I make seems to affect it in a negative way.
And yeah, I know I'll probably work these problems out, I'm just so worried about it all. Regardless of how the book does, I want it to be my best. I don't want to half-ass it and I want things to make sense, and I want the characters to work and be...relatable.
ARgh..
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Yeah, every single book I've written, I've hit this point. I spent December in a "I have no idea what I'm going with this novel" daze. I'm revising now and making sense of it. I've finally go eight out of ten chapters pounded into making sense.
Myself, I can't think my series through. It's too much. I rather enjoy the crazy places that the stories wind up but that requires flexibility.
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I go back and forth. I've written several scenes that came to mind that I really want to implement somewhere in the eventual novel, but I worry about overcomplicating it and contradicting things I've already set in stone. I'm definitely going through the "I have no idea where this is going" phase.
I'm glad you made it through yours! I'm sure I will too, I'm just such a worrier, I tend to let these things get me down. Eesh.
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