not the real bill kaulitz (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bill_kaulitz) wrote2018-12-04 06:43 pm
bill_kaulitz) wrote2018-12-04 06:43 pm
Sorry??
I know the hype isn't real over here, and I have like two followers, but I really didn't mean to up and abandon DW.....again. To be honest, my revival of this journal/blog at the time was really me trying to recapture a part of my past. I rediscovered a band that brought me so much joy ten years ago, only to be VASTLY disappointed by the people they've become. Not to mention, so many of the friends I made back then, did not wish to reconnect with me (at least, the ones I found). It was a bit of a harsh blow, but one I needed.
The past year has been unkind to me in many ways, but an ENORMOUS blessing in others. I'd have to go re-read my last few entries to confirm, but if I didn't mention my cat before, she passed away two months after my last post here. It was a really harsh and sudden event. The anniversary of her death was a couple weeks ago, in fact. I'm definitely okay now, but every now and then it still hurts to remember the pain of losing her because it was not a kind loss in any way, shape, or form.
However, I am in a MUCH better place mentally. Shortly after my last post, I became good friends with a girl on my team at work. She was such a positive, bubbly individual, that my empath-self SPONGED off her and went from a terribly depressive state of mind, to a much better one. Because of her, I finished my novel after fifteen years of struggling. (Context: it was finished, but required several rewrites/edits, and I got stuck on the last rewrite and could never finish it). Because of her, I went from hating myself, to...strongly disliking myself (lol). Because of her, I tried out for a part in a musical, and got it. Because of her, I got more courage to be a better person.
I am no longer working in that center. At the end of September, I applied for a position at our corporate office, and got it. I don't get paid a whole lot more, tbh, but the real reward is the stress level. It has gone down SUBSTANTIALLY. I am finally an adult, responsible for me, not to the stupid petty, elementary level BS at the call center.
I still have a lot more to deal with and do. I still have a lot of issues and anxiety and depression. I still fail at things I would kill to succeed at (i.e., dealing with friends and dating would be nice), but I'm getting there. I did have some downfalls this year, but...eh, why rehash.
I hope you all have had a great year. If any of you are still around, please catch me up on your year <3
The past year has been unkind to me in many ways, but an ENORMOUS blessing in others. I'd have to go re-read my last few entries to confirm, but if I didn't mention my cat before, she passed away two months after my last post here. It was a really harsh and sudden event. The anniversary of her death was a couple weeks ago, in fact. I'm definitely okay now, but every now and then it still hurts to remember the pain of losing her because it was not a kind loss in any way, shape, or form.
However, I am in a MUCH better place mentally. Shortly after my last post, I became good friends with a girl on my team at work. She was such a positive, bubbly individual, that my empath-self SPONGED off her and went from a terribly depressive state of mind, to a much better one. Because of her, I finished my novel after fifteen years of struggling. (Context: it was finished, but required several rewrites/edits, and I got stuck on the last rewrite and could never finish it). Because of her, I went from hating myself, to...strongly disliking myself (lol). Because of her, I tried out for a part in a musical, and got it. Because of her, I got more courage to be a better person.
I am no longer working in that center. At the end of September, I applied for a position at our corporate office, and got it. I don't get paid a whole lot more, tbh, but the real reward is the stress level. It has gone down SUBSTANTIALLY. I am finally an adult, responsible for me, not to the stupid petty, elementary level BS at the call center.
I still have a lot more to deal with and do. I still have a lot of issues and anxiety and depression. I still fail at things I would kill to succeed at (i.e., dealing with friends and dating would be nice), but I'm getting there. I did have some downfalls this year, but...eh, why rehash.
I hope you all have had a great year. If any of you are still around, please catch me up on your year <3